is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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