i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
