I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
