This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
