Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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