Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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