And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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