ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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