so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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