I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
