just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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