Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
