kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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