Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize