is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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