Plan B is the new Plan A
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
