I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
