She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
