suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize