LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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