there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
