Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
