Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
