I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
