Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
