Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
