if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
