Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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