i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
