I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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