I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Randomize
