Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize