Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
