You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
