The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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