Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
