i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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