So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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