I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
