Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
