I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize