this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
