Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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