Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
