I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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