just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
