four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
