Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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