butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
