ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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