For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
only if we run a train.
done.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
