these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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