Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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