No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
