Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Even my vagina gasped.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
