Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
