My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
