i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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