Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
