What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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