i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Rumble strips road head = magical
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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