OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
