..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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