after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
