I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
