she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am mentally ready for anal.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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